How does the balance sheet of a bank look like as of today?

On the left side there's nothing right and on the right side there's nothing left...

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it

How do you get a person with podophobia to leave?

Just say "shoe".

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What are you doing today?

2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure ' 2: 'I'm definite'.

What do Will and Jaden Smith like about today?

It's After Earth Day.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why do black people always say "I know right"?

Because they have no right.

How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

it's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.