Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.
HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!
Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool
It has 4 rabbits' feet.
4: A ninja.
I put the wrong socks on today.
A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"
By moving the show to a "true crime" channel and calling it "18 Victims and Counting".
A: An Ohioan who can read. Q: What's an Ohioan? A: A Kentuckian who can count. Q: What's a Kentuckian? A: A West Virginian with a branching family tree. Q: And who the hell are you to be making all these rude judgments? A: Trauma counselor for tour guides.
You cut *Juan* out.
Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:
Hebrews!
Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz.
A sheep that can round itself up !
Back into the microwave so I can get in another round.
19 . Got a problem with that?
Turn 19
