19 Jokes

How do you stop being an 18 year old Virgin?

Turn 19

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What's Subway Jared's favorite TV show?

19 Kids and Counting

What is Josh Duggars favorite thing about 19 year olds?

There's 19 of them

Why did the IT Admin marry Sally?

She had a 19" rack.

How many children did Josh Duggar molest?

19 kids and counting. Too soon? :/

How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

19 . Got a problem with that?

How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

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Get Jokes More Get Jokes

Why is the new Brexit diet so popular?

All you gotta be is a little more than halfway into it and the pounds will start falling.

How do you make Polish sausage ?

First you gotta find a retarded pig...

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

What is it called when 5 girls get into bed with one guy?

A "no one will ever believe me".

Josh Duggar Jokes More Josh Duggar Jokes

What is Josh Duggar's second favorite dating website after Ashley-Madison?

Ancestry.com

How many children did Josh Duggar molest?

19 kids and counting. Too soon? :/

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?

Bombs

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Sally Jokes More Sally Jokes

What does Sally have?

Cancer.

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?

E V E R Y W H E R E

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How do Astronauts screw in a lightbulb?

They don't: They screw in a vacuum.

How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Hella. How long does it take them Days.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

Feyonce.

Why did the personal trainer break up with his girlfriend?

She just wasn't working out.