Why does Jay Z love Christmas?

Because he's the best wrapper alive.

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What did the Mexican family get for Christmas?

Deported

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

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Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10?

Because : he still loves vista,baby!

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...

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What do you call Jay-Z having a leg transplant?

A hip-hop hip op.

What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce