Toast Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

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What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

What do astronauts put on their toast?

Space Jam.

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

What do you get if you put morphine on your toast?

Crumfortably Numb!

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

How do al-Qaeda like their toast?

Bean-laden

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How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling?

An Ethiopian rave.

What s the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

gingerbread

How do you start a rave in Uganda ?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

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What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

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What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over?

Dough-nuts (South Park reference again just spreading it).

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What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast?

The holocaust.

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What do French people do when they don't have bottles of their favourite beverage?

They go to Cannes

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )

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What's the difference between a light bulb and my pregnant girlfriend?

I can unscrew a lightbulb.

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

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Why should you always carry toilet paper to the twilight zone?

Doodoo doodoo

Which Way Do Transformers Put The Toilet Paper?

Autobots Roll Out!

Taste Jokes More Taste Jokes

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

gingerbread

What taste good?

Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke Tender: *facepalm*

Coat Jokes More Coat Jokes

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

Why did the orange fall out with the orange-peeler?

Because he was taking the pith. /gets coat. bai.