Toast Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

What do astronauts put on their toast?

Space Jam.

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

What do you get if you put morphine on your toast?

Crumfortably Numb!

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

How do al-Qaeda like their toast?

Bean-laden

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling?

An Ethiopian rave.

What s the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

gingerbread

How do you start a rave in Uganda ?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

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Bowl Jokes More Bowl Jokes

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

How do you confuse a fish?

You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!

Pregnant Girlfriend Jokes More Pregnant Girlfriend Jokes

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

What's the difference between a light bulb and my pregnant girlfriend?

I can unscrew a lightbulb.

Costume Jokes More Costume Jokes

What are you supposed to be?

ME: I'm not wearing a costume

What's your costume?

Me: I'm dressed as "A total disappointment" Friend: But you always wear that Me: Yeah.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Where did the kid with adhd go?

Aushwitz

What do you call a kid who tells bad jokes?

A redditor

Iraqi Jokes More Iraqi Jokes

What did the Iraqi refugee say when he crossed the border?

Iran!

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Plane Crash Jokes More Plane Crash Jokes

What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash?

Take your time, there's no Rush...

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?

Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.

What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone didn't pull it out in time.

Loaf Jokes More Loaf Jokes

How can you tell if a loaf of bread is a boy or girl?

Feel around for the dough nuts

What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!