What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

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What would you like?

ME:What would YOU like W:Excuse me M:No one ever asks you, do they W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.

What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall?

At the Schopenhauer.

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How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

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What do you call mints you can spread through social media?

Memementos

Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?

Random Dude: [...💘]

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Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat