Neckbeard Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

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What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What do you call someone who commits piracy?

Neckbeard the pirate

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What did the neckbeard say when he was punched in the throat?

M'Larynx

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Whats a Neckbeard's favorite city in Spain?

M'drid

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What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!"

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

What does George Weasley see in the Mirror of Erised?

His reflection.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do you call someone who went into a birth clinic and started shooting at everyone there?

Spawn camper.

Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline?

And when did my wife start smoking

Hispanic Jokes More Hispanic Jokes

What do you call a hispanic man with a rubber toe?

ROBERTO! I'm here all week.

Why are Hispanic dwarves called Paragraphs?

They're too short to be called Essays.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What do you call a Pokemon who is trying to quit smoking?

Vaporeon

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Fedora Jokes More Fedora Jokes

What OS does an atheist run on their computer?

Fedora. For Linux n00bs(https://getfedora.org/)

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did the brother octopi look so alike?

They were itentacle twins.

What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg?

Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."

Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

What's the worst part about working in a glory hole?

You only get paid in tips.

How does a pirate tip his hat?

M'Hearty"

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

How many black guys does it take to cook chicken?

None. Blacks belong in the fields, woman belong in the kitchen.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls