Neckbeard Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

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What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What do you call someone who commits piracy?

Neckbeard the pirate

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What did the neckbeard say when he was punched in the throat?

M'Larynx

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Whats a Neckbeard's favorite city in Spain?

M'drid

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What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!"

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator.

What's black and hanging from a tree in my backyard right now?

A black berry.

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What does it take to be a president of Russia?

Be a Viktor, then you are Devinitely In

Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet?

They were Putin up with him.

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Why did the cactus cross the road?

It got stuck to the chicken.

How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man?

hopefully not a repost) The city supports the bench. Badum-tsss

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

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What kind of chemical bond is Hispanic?

An Ester Bond

How did the Hispanic secret agent introduce himself?

Bondo. Jaime Bondo.

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What disease do Spartans get the most?

Leon-itis.

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Which country has the most crying people per km?

The Soviet Onion

Why did the Soviets implement 5 year plans instead of 4 year plans?

Cuz they were stalin'!

M'laysia Jokes More M'laysia Jokes

What's a neckbeard's favorite country?

M'laysia

What is a neck beard's favorite country?

M'Laysia