Neckbeard Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

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What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What do you call someone who commits piracy?

Neckbeard the pirate

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What did the neckbeard say when he was punched in the throat?

M'Larynx

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Whats a Neckbeard's favorite city in Spain?

M'drid

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What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!"

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Piracy Jokes More Piracy Jokes

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

What's the difference between PirateBay and 9/11?

One is piracy and the other is CONSpiracy

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

He was tired of Haulin' Oats

What starts with F and ends in UCK?

Fire truck.

Fedora Jokes More Fedora Jokes

What's the difference between a fedora clad Brony and an egg?

The egg gets laid!

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

What do people wear when they go to a new planet?

Terraformal wear.

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How do you greet the cold horse across the fence?

Howdy Neigh - Brr Made up by my 4 year old son.

How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season?

Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone.

Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime?

Dust for Fresh Prints! (i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)

What is black and in jail?

A black man who committed a crime.

M'laysia Jokes More M'laysia Jokes

What's a neckbeard's favorite country?

M'laysia

What's a fedora tippin neckbeard's favorite country?

M'laysia

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.