Neckbeard Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

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What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What do you call someone who commits piracy?

Neckbeard the pirate

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What did the neckbeard say when he was punched in the throat?

M'Larynx

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Whats a Neckbeard's favorite city in Spain?

M'drid

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What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!"

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

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What kind of disease do you get from birds?

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Why do French tanks have review mirrors?

Because they want to see the front line too

What is the best part about taking a shower?

Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward.

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Because they'd Russia lot

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He's Snowden.

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What drug is most destructive with phones?

Crack.

What do you call a duck that does drugs?

A quack head!

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Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

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What do you call someone who commits piracy?

Neckbeard the pirate

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.