Neckbeard Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

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What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What do you call someone who commits piracy?

Neckbeard the pirate

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What did the neckbeard say when he was punched in the throat?

M'Larynx

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Whats a Neckbeard's favorite city in Spain?

M'drid

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What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!"

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

What do Augusto Pinochet and New Guns n Roses have in common?

They've both committed atrocities in South American stadiums.

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

Fedora Jokes More Fedora Jokes

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why isn't Edward leaving Russia?

because he's snowed in.

Why couldn't the American leave Russia?

He was snowden

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How do you greet a German baker?

Gluten Tag

What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him?

HIYAH!

Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

City Jokes More City Jokes

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

What city does Affirmative Action Aslan live?

Kathmandu.

M'laysia Jokes More M'laysia Jokes

What's a neckbeard's favorite country?

M'laysia

What is a neck beard's favorite country?

M'Laysia

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC?

One has a job.

When are they going to bring slavery back?

I am tired of looking for a job.