Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline?

And when did my wife start smoking

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What does Michigan State football and Marijuana have in common?

They are both green and get smoked in bowls!

Why would I want to quit smoking?

Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes?

Do they think they're gonna magically start walking

When does a cup stop being a cup and start being a mug?

When it gets a handle on life.

Gasoline Jokes More Gasoline Jokes

What's the difference between water and gasoline?

In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.

How to teach a cat how to bark?

Pour some gasoline on it and WOOF!