What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

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How, you ask?

I walked into an autopsy. It was stiff.

What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects?

Is it about black people

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What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Where do Muslims go on a weekend?

To Mecca Bingo.

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.