What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

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What do you call a disaster that only affected shopping malls?

A catashopic.

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.