Affect Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

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How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Why does black lives matter affect the postal service?

They have white mail privilege.

What country's citizens are most affected by global warming?

South Koreans

What do you call a disaster that only affected shopping malls?

A catashopic.

What is one item which has never been affected by inflation?

Deer's Balls There are always under a buck

What do you call a virus that affects the command line?

Terminal Illness

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

What do you call a virus that affects your command-line?

A Terminal Illness.

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Inflation Jokes More Inflation Jokes

Why did balloon prices keep rising?

Because they had to adjust for inflation.

Why don't you remove those barriers to imports?

It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.

Ebola Jokes More Ebola Jokes

Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.

How do we get rid of Ebola?

Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane

Zika Virus Jokes More Zika Virus Jokes

What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common?

They both give kids a little head.

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Black Life Matter Jokes More Black Life Matter Jokes

Which news outlet has the most interesting Black Lives Matter coverage?

BBC

How can you spot a racist in a crowd?

They're the ones shouting "Black Lives Matter!"

Terminal Illness Jokes More Terminal Illness Jokes

Why was the airport depressed?

It had a terminal illness.

What do you call being sick because of an airport?

Terminal illness

Bola Jokes More Bola Jokes

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

What did they call Ebola before the Internet?

Bola

Global Warming Jokes More Global Warming Jokes

How many Global Warming nutjobs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't use light bulbs. They live in caves and use no forms of artificial energy because they wouldn't want to be perceived as hypocrites or morons.

What does the future hold?

Global warming, depleted resources, & species going extinct. But also the iPhone 5, so it's break even.

Buck Jokes More Buck Jokes

How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced?

a buck an ear

How much do pirates charge for piercings?

A buck an ear.