How does a fish always know how much they weigh?

Because they have their own scales!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

What's that over there?

I don't know but I just got a raging clue

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why don't hipsters like fishing?

It's too mainstream.

What do you call a man who excels at fishing?

A master baiter

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?

On a scale from one to ten, urinate.

Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What weighs 20 times a North Korean?

Kim Jong Un.

What's blue and doesn't weigh much?

Light blue