What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero?

Tareable

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Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

What was the score of the lobster soccer game?

Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

How do you weight a fish?

With a scale.

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.