Zero Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What did a binary number say to another?

I'm the one, you zero!

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero.

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

When did 888 equal zero????

When Eight ate eight

What do Zero and Nil have in common?

Absolutely nothing

How much Squidwards does it take to fix a lightbulb?

zero, because none of them knows how to

What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

What do a zero-legged spider and a one-legged bear have in common?

They both have at least zero legs.

How many redditors does it take to screw in a new lightbulb?

Zero. Somebody already did it.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How do you feel if subjected to temperatures of absolute zero?

0K

What do you call a violent Buddhist?

A Zero.

What did the "O" call the Zero?

Weirdo!

Why are catholic priests so Eco-friendly?

Zero emissions.

What do black people and dividing by zero have in common?

They don't work.

What does Mexican binary code consist of?

Zeros and Juans.

What's your favorite joke appropriate for a 6-8 year old?

I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.

What was the score of the lobster soccer game?

Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls.

How do you know you're golfing with a politician?

When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard.

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

How many zeroes does your salary have?

He responds "One" "In which currency " "Any :("

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in zero lightbulbs?

Indeterminate

What did the number zero say to the number eight?

Nice belt."

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

How do I find answers using Google.com?

on Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero.

How many zeros in one million?

Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

How are you doing in arithmetic ?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Why does everyone find the absolute value of zero so funny?

l0l

How many do you have?

7yo: Zero. Me: ZERO 7yo: I said it was empty.

How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Significantly more than zero, *p* < .001.

How many people at a Music Festival does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Zero, its already lit

What's an acceptable absolute zero?

0K.

Why can a number divided by zero never be found in the dictionary?

Because it's undefined.

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero?

Tareable

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What does a redditor say when they see a YouTube link they can't click on?

Give me the gif of it.

Why was the Redditor's picture crooked?

Because Redditors aren't known for keeping a level head.

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How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

How many PMSing women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six. Why? It just does! OKAY!

Binary Number Jokes More Binary Number Jokes

What did a binary number say to another?

I'm the one, you zero!

Why was the binary number so happy?

Because of two's compliment!

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How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

How do you stop a 6'4" 300lb black kid from charging?

You take away his EBT card.

7yo Jokes More 7yo Jokes

Why did the superhero flush the toilet?

It was his duty!!!! told to me by my 7yo son

Who's singing this?

Me: "Franz Ferdinand." 7yo: "But, he died in 1914." Me:

Score Jokes More Score Jokes

What did the bumble bee striker say ?

Hive scored !

What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.

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Which do Catholic priests like betterapples or cherries?

Neitherthey prefer boysenberries.

Why shouldn't we talk about Catholic Priests?

It's a touchy subject.

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What did one loaf of bread say to the other?

Weirdo.

What do you call a weirdo slowly driving a jeep past an elementary school?

Jeeper creeper!