What do Zero and Nil have in common?

Absolutely nothing

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Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

How many people at a Music Festival does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Zero, its already lit

Absolutely Jokes More Absolutely Jokes

What does a lawyer, a pine tree, and a hydrogen atom have in common?

Absolutely nothing.

What's the difference between a blind sniper and a constipated owl?

Everything. They have absolutely nothing in common.