What's white and 12 inches long?

Absolutely nothing.

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Why isn't my hand 12 inches?

Because then it would be a foot

What is white, 12 inches long, and not a fluorescent light bulb?

Nothing.

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What do Zero and Nil have in common?

Absolutely nothing

What's the difference between a blind sniper and a constipated owl?

Everything. They have absolutely nothing in common.