What do ISIS want for Christmas?

Turkey, apparently.

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What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

What do you call a Snorlax that wants to win a race?

A cab.

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What did the Buddhist get for Christmas?

Presence.

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

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What do Vegans, ISIS and Feminists have in common?

None of them like pork.

What's the best thing about ISIS jokes?

The execution

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What do you call Turkey's revolting soldiers?

The Coup Clucks Clan.