Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip of the broom. :)

Why do priests wear underwear in the shower?

They don't like to look down on the unemployed

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar?

Ew.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

How do you know Sia is Scottish?

Because she loves sheep thrills! *shows self out

Zipper Jokes More Zipper Jokes

What has over a hundred teeth and keeps back Godzilla?

my zipper!

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

Scottish Man Jokes More Scottish Man Jokes

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.