Scottish Man Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

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Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What does the Scottish man say after love making?

I love ewe!

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs?

a bell.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

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Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

How are America and McDonald's similar?

They are both run by red-headed clowns.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

Clan Jokes More Clan Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns?

Go for the juggler

Bell Jokes More Bell Jokes

What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee?

A humdinger.

What's the difference between a church bell &amp a politician?

A church bell peals from the steeple.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

Where I should put my pants?

He replied "Over there next to mine."

Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

What do you call an affectionate rabbit?

A tender loving hare.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.