Scottish Man Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

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Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What does the Scottish man say after love making?

I love ewe!

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs?

a bell.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

What has four legs and is made out of wood?

A horse.

West Jokes More West Jokes

Why didn't the Cancer Cowboy head out West?

He was afraid of Chemo-sabe.

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Who won the animal race?

The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!

How to get a job without experience ?

Just run for office!

Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

What do pirates do with their treasure in the winter?

They BURy it

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground ?

Because you can't bury them in trees !

Hill Jokes More Hill Jokes

Why did the tea-bag fall down the hill?

To steep.

What does a Mexican get when he slides down a hill?

Gracias

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

I dunno, I just repost them.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What's a sheep's favourite band?

Ewe 2

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".