When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?

The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger?

A big mac.

What do you call it when your computer gets infected with a keylogger, a rootkit and half a dozen backdoors?

A free upgrade

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Why does it take Sarah Palin so long to get ready in the morning?

Because she has two faces.

How many Ricks from TWD does it take to change a light bulb?

Carl gets shot in the face.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

When is the Quran accurate?

When it's thrown from a short distance.

What did the purple policeman say as he threw the purple man into jail?

INDIGO!

Wizard Jokes More Wizard Jokes

What do you call a wizard that puts people to sleep?

Dumblebore

Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch!

What does the cabbage merchant use to fix his cabbages?

A cabbage patch! - Sokka

Glitter Jokes More Glitter Jokes

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

What is a blonde's favorite color?

Glitter.