How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor?

Straight, No Chaser.

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Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?

Because it was making him moody.

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

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What do a good bar and a woman have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

How does a French lady hold her liquor?

By the ears

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What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician?

To the airport please

What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless