How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?

People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.

Why are all these people dead on the inside?

Sir, this is a morgue."

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Where do they send trickster tuna when they catch them?

A Tuna Chi-Cannery

What do you call a women that catches fish?

Annette

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask )

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

What do you call someone who hates browsing the web with Google?

A Chromophobe.

How do people see so much on internet these days?

They put on the Google!

Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

What prize did the dead body receive?

Atrophy

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

What the hell is an Ovechkin?

The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"