Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What will they now use on photos for LGBT magazines?

an airbroosh

What are the two words men hate most unless used together?

Don't Stop

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why shouldn't you be friends with a broken clock?

Because it won't even give you the time of day.

Why did the Crab not share any plankton with his friends?

Because he was shellfish.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.

Wi Fi Jokes More Wi Fi Jokes

How do you catch a WiFi?

With an ethernet!

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...