What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What did the tree do when he got really nervous?

He SOILed his pants I'llseemyselfout...

Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?

You might get a hole in one.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.