Toss Jokes

What do you get when toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen?

Linoleum blownapart.

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What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

What does Michael Jackson do when he gets kids to the top of the Empire State building?

Tosses them off.

What do you call tossing a Hawaiian's salad?

Pacific rim

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

What's the I.T. guy's favorite pokemon game?

It's a toss up between ruby and perl.

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

What did one pancake say to the others as it was tossed off the griddle into the air?

See you on the flip side.

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How are children like slinkies?

It's fun to toss them down stairs.

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How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

What is the similarity between women and garbagebags?

You fill them up and toss them out the door!

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

You might also enjoy:

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How do you know if your friend has an iPhone?

They tell you.

What do you NEVER call a black man?

a friend

Boiling Water Jokes More Boiling Water Jokes

What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?

Gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by a chick.

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why didn't you go to school today?

Little Banana: Because I didn't peel well.

What did the one banana say to the other banana who had his feelings hurt?

I know that peel.

Perl Jokes More Perl Jokes

What's the I.T. guy's favorite pokemon game?

It's a toss up between ruby and perl.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program

the rest of them will write Perl

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about swim-up bars?

The watery stools

What's the worst part about season 1 of Lost?

The episode.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series?

One has cubs

What's the difference between a horse and a 13 year old boy?

The horse knows when I'm grooming him.

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common?

A: They were both cooked by a guy named "Dave".

What do you call the cook on a Soviet battleship?

The khrushchev

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How do you understand women?

I really just want to know.

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops