Toss Jokes

What do you get when toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen?

Linoleum blownapart.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

What does Michael Jackson do when he gets kids to the top of the Empire State building?

Tosses them off.

What do you call tossing a Hawaiian's salad?

Pacific rim

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

What's the I.T. guy's favorite pokemon game?

It's a toss up between ruby and perl.

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

What did one pancake say to the others as it was tossed off the griddle into the air?

See you on the flip side.

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How are children like slinkies?

It's fun to toss them down stairs.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

What is the similarity between women and garbagebags?

You fill them up and toss them out the door!

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

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Devour Jokes More Devour Jokes

Why do we call lady parts beavers?

Because they devour wood.

What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human?

A: Lettuce pray

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why don't you see any slow black people?

They're all in jail.

Why did the dragon go to jail for farting?

Arse-on. **Cough Cough** I'll see my way out.

Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What separates animals from humans?

The Mediterranean.

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?

A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human.

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

How much is a soft drink ?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

What is the difference between a banana and a bell?

You can only peel (peal) the banana once.

Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why do neckbeard dentists love Cats the musical?

Because m'cavity.

What do you call a cat in love?

Romeow

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

What do you call a potato that's high?

A baked potato.(http://www.spudstravels.com/Travel%20Archive/Caribbean/Jamaicaimages/Cannabis%20-%20close.jpg)

What did the knife say to the potato?

Now I've got to cut you.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens?

She didn't want to litter