How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did Snow White go to bed?

She was feeling Sleepy.

How do you know when you are in bed with a witch ?

She has a big "W" embroidered on her pyjamas !

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home?

Because he knew his parents will make him return it.

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the man sleep under the tractor?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

What do you call a tissue that is sleeping?

A napkin

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

What do you call tossing a Hawaiian's salad?

Pacific rim

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Crawl Jokes More Crawl Jokes

What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload

What's white and crawls up your leg?

Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice