What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the frog who parked illegally?

he got toad

What happens when i find a good joke?

I reddit.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call someone who walks into a building full of people?

A cannibal.

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How do you start a baby shower?

Throw it into a wood chipper.

How do you get thrown out of a concentration camp?

Bad for moral Cutting in line Organizing hunger strikes

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What is black and knocking on the window from the inside?

A baby in the oven.

How do Russians put windows in?

Putin Windows duh.

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

How do you start a black parade?

Roll a 40 down the street.

What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs who's rolling down a hill?

Rick O'Shay.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What Is The Best Sub Reddit To See Once Watching "Gods Of Egypt?

r/EyeBleach.

Who has more money than God?

His Ex-Wife.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Which beer did the flower drink that made it realize that it was smarter when it was young?

Budweiser

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None, the beer should be open by the time she has brought it to you.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Swear Jokes More Swear Jokes

Why does Oedipus hate to swear?

Because he kisses his mother with that mouth

What breakfast food does Dr. Oz swear by?

A: QUACKer Oaths.