What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common?

Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

Why do people paint eggs for Easter?

Bunnies squirm too much.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent.

Why did the man throw his watch out the window?

He wanted to see time fly!

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What's the difference between windows 10 and the world's biggest virus?

The Logo.

Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him?

Heavy!"

What's red and white and red, red and white and red and white?

Santa Claus rolling down a roof!

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call it?

God: A toddler.

What does Clint Eastwood say to God every morning?

Go Ahead Make My Day"

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What did the bartender say to the giraffe when he ordered a beer?

Long neck or giraffed?

Whats your favourite brand of beer?

When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

Why does a billionaire need a Bat signal?

He is in a cave. How does he even see the signal Why won't you just text him

Why is r/Jokes only text, and forbids external links?

Because black people can't be offended if they're only reading jokes.

Swear Jokes More Swear Jokes

What breakfast food does Dr. Oz swear by?

A: QUACKer Oaths.

What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?