What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when Niagara trips?

Niagara Falls

What would've happened if Jesus Christ didn't make Christmas?

It would've just been "mas".

People Jokes More People Jokes

What job pays you to shoot people but not harm them?

A photographer.

What do cats and people that submit jokes with the punchline "PLAGIARISM" have in common?

THEY BOTH LICK THEIR PAWS!

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I'm going home now.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert?

A daydreamer stares out of windows.

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What is red and white and red and white and red and ....?

Santa Clause rolling down a hill

How does Harry Potter travel about?

Walking -Jk Rolling

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why doesn't God like fruitcake?

Because he doesn't exist.

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What do you get when you combine a watch and a bottle of beer?

A really good watch.

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What's worse?

Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Swear Jokes More Swear Jokes

Why can't Oedipus swear?

Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.

Why is Oedipus against swearing?

He kisses his mother with that mouth!