What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Previous Random Joke Next
Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the Mrs. Smith's truck collided with the Tastykake truck?

Pyrex

What happened to the little Dutch boy after he put his finger in the dyke?

she shattered his jaw!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people and trees have in common?

They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

What is the shortest, very funny joke you know?

ITT: comments about my dink, and people who can't search

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How do you stop a ginger from drowning?

You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.

How does one cook toilet paper?

Simple - brown it on both sides then throw it into the pot.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7.. 8.. 9

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs who's rolling down a hill?

Rick O'Shay.

What's a feminist's least favourite bread?

Gender rolls

God Jokes More God Jokes

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of beer?

All of them

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

What is ISIS's favorite type of text?

Is the answer: A: Heading B: Heading C: Heading

Swear Jokes More Swear Jokes

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

What have you tried so far?

Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing