What's worse?

Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why are penguins socially awkward?

Because they can't break the ice.

Why did the fish's car break down?

It needed a tuna-up.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the hummingbird do to his girlfriend?

He nectar!

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?

Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."

What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop?

Disappointed.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

Why is r/Jokes only text, and forbids external links?

Because black people can't be offended if they're only reading jokes.

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

Receive Jokes More Receive Jokes

What did the asian do after receiving a test with a bad grade?

Bangladesh

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

Why did you do that?

I replied,"That's what you're supposed to do in soccer, right Kick balls "

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.