How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do most car accidents happen when men are drunk?

Because their wives are driving.

What's white and washes your socks?

Your wife.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

What do you call the family members of the Force?

Force-kin My friend made this up today while talking about Star Wars.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What does the hippie bum say when you tell him he can no longer sleep on your couch?

Namaste

What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween?

Only two more sleeps till Christmas!

Interrupt Jokes More Interrupt Jokes

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Why does the CPU never get any work done?

Because it gets interrupted constantly.

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

What exactly had the "NOW That's What I Call Music!" guy been listening to before?

Sound FX CDs Whale noises

What do dolphins like to listen to?

Podcasts.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly is the only word spelled I n c o r r e c t l y

Which dinosaur knew... Q: Which dinosaur knew the most words?

A: The thesaurus.