Waitress Jokes

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

A: uh, me so sorry.

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When can you tell your waitress is having a bad day?

When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How do you know your waitress is having a rough night?

She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen.

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

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Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

How much is a soft drink ?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

How would you like that cooked?

gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

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Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What sound does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor.

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

A: uh, me so sorry.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

New Yorker Jokes More New Yorker Jokes

Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank?

He wanted to wake up oily.

What are all those wires?

My wireless internet." (New Yorker cartoon ideas)

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why is the Canadian Mint so confusing?

Because they don't make any cents.

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What day do fries hate the most?

Friday

Why does everyone hate 7?

Because 7 kneeled during the National Anthem.

China Jokes More China Jokes

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

Why is it that there aren't much natural oil resources in China?

They ate all the dinosaurs

Legge Jokes More Legge Jokes

What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink?

Decalfinated.

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.