Waitress Jokes

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

A: uh, me so sorry.

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When can you tell your waitress is having a bad day?

When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How do you know your waitress is having a rough night?

She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen.

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

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Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

How much is a soft drink ?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

How would you like that cooked?

gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

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Mohel Jokes More Mohel Jokes

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What did the mohel bring to the BBQ potluck?

His homemade Bris-kit.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How do you make a horomone?

You don't pay her. (My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )

What did justin beiber say to his mom?

I FOUND MY MICROSCOPE, now all I need is my lotion and tweezers

Liberian Jokes More Liberian Jokes

What did the New Yorker order from the Liberian waitress?

Ebola soup!

Where are you from?

So where are you from?" "I'm a Liberian" "Oh sorry" *whispers*

Concern Jokes More Concern Jokes

Why wasn't the chemist concerned when she blew up her experiment?

Oxidants happen,

How does a ghost start a letter?

Tomb it may concern.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

How Pokemon go came to be Customers: "Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?

Niantic: "147 Pokemon You want to have 145 Pokemon ! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon !"

What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?

He tripped a fan

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey."

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

Why did the Dark Ages existed?

Because there were 'nights.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

What are the two words men hate most unless used together?

Don't Stop