Magician Jokes

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

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What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What do you call a dog that is also a magician?

A Labracadabrador.

What do you call a beauty pageant for cartographers and magicians?

Miss Direction.

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall?

Hocus Focus

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?

Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...

What do you call a dog that is a magician?

A Labara Cadabarador

What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician?

I can't see you anymore.

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What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti?

Pesto chango

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?

Both do hat tricks !

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

When is a farmer like a magician?

A: When he turns his cow to pasture.

What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book?

Who-dini

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

What did the magician say to the aerial student?

I work on a different plane

What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What did the hippopotamus do to the magician?

He hippo-tized him!

What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician A: David "Cop a Feel" ...ba dum cha!

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Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

What do You Call a Line... Q: What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A: a receding hare-line.

Rat Jokes More Rat Jokes

What's the difference between a mouse and a rat?

A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

Abra Cadaver Jokes More Abra Cadaver Jokes

What do you call a dead magician?

Abra Cadaver.

What did the dead magician say?

Abra-cadaver

Magician Wand Jokes More Magician Wand Jokes

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a police baton?

The magician's wand is used for cunning stunts

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

Parrot Jokes More Parrot Jokes

What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on?

A Perch!

Where did you get that thing?

Parrot says, "Africa."

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

How much for the supermodel?

winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."

End Jokes More End Jokes

How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"?

A: FIRETRUCK.

Hat Jokes More Hat Jokes

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

To keep their hats pointed.

What hat does a Mexican wear to a funeral?

A somber-ero.