Magician Jokes

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

Pollygone

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What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What do you call a dog that is also a magician?

A Labracadabrador.

What do you call a beauty pageant for cartographers and magicians?

Miss Direction.

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall?

Hocus Focus

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?

Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...

What do you call a dog that is a magician?

A Labara Cadabarador

What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician?

I can't see you anymore.

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What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti?

Pesto chango

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?

Both do hat tricks !

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

When is a farmer like a magician?

A: When he turns his cow to pasture.

What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book?

Who-dini

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

What did the magician say to the aerial student?

I work on a different plane

What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What did the hippopotamus do to the magician?

He hippo-tized him!

What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician A: David "Cop a Feel" ...ba dum cha!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why don't vikings send e-mails?

They prefer to use Norse code.

What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?

Electricity.

Islamic Jokes More Islamic Jokes

What do they call their mistresses in Islamic countries?

Haram Baes

What does an Islamic magician say?

ALLAH KAZAM!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

When George Washington was a general why did he like to have dogs around?

They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Dead Magician Jokes More Dead Magician Jokes

What did the dead magician say?

Abra-cadaver

What do you call a dead magician?

Abra Cadaver.

Cunning Stunt Jokes More Cunning Stunt Jokes

What is the difference between a bachelorette party and Cirque du Soleil?

One is a group of cunning stunts.

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

Stunt Jokes More Stunt Jokes

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

What's the difference between the Rockettes and a troop of acrobats?

One is a cunning array of stunts.

Psychologist Jokes More Psychologist Jokes

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

Why did the cow go to the psychologist?

She had a fodder complex.

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

What is the the Chicken's favorite composer?

bach bach bach time to return to

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.