Magician Jokes

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

Pollygone

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What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What do you call a dog that is also a magician?

A Labracadabrador.

What do you call a beauty pageant for cartographers and magicians?

Miss Direction.

Why are magicians always sad?

Because everything they have disappears

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall?

Hocus Focus

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What's the difference between a line of naked women and a magician?

Well, the magician has a cunning array of stunts...

What do you call a dog that is a magician?

A Labara Cadabarador

What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician?

I can't see you anymore.

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What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti?

Pesto chango

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?

Both do hat tricks !

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

When is a farmer like a magician?

A: When he turns his cow to pasture.

What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book?

Who-dini

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

What did the magician say to the aerial student?

I work on a different plane

What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What did the hippopotamus do to the magician?

He hippo-tized him!

What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician A: David "Cop a Feel" ...ba dum cha!

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaaah ?

About 3 inches

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy?

He kept on and on about his mateys.

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor?

Rabbit Hood.

How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?

It was won by a hare!

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

Why didn't Jesus get into college?

Because he got nailed on the boards.

Abra Cadaver Jokes More Abra Cadaver Jokes

What do you call a dead magician?

Abra Cadaver.

What did the dead magician say?

Abra-cadaver

Dead Magician Jokes More Dead Magician Jokes

What did the dead magician say?

Abra-cadaver

What do you call a dead magician?

Abra Cadaver.

Police Baton Jokes More Police Baton Jokes

What's the difference between a police baton and a magic wand?

Ones used for cunning stunts.

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a police baton?

The magician's wand is used for cunning stunts

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return?

Stick

Why did Napoleon return from exile?

He needed more Elba room.