Psychologist Jokes

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How did the psychologist die?

He Freudian slipped.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb should be willing to change.

What's the difference between a psychologist and a groundskeeper?

One you need for a rough patch, the other you need to patch your rough.

Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom?

Because the 'P' is silent

What does a psychologist wear to bed?

A Freudian slip.

What did the pessimist say to the psychologist?

Only the good die, Jung.

Where does a psychologist keep his boat?

on a Freudian Slip

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?

You're fine how am I "

Why can't you hear a psychologist go to the bathroom?

Because the 'p' is silent.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

Why did the cow go to the psychologist?

She had a fodder complex.

How many psychologist does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but the light bulb is going to need to change itself.

Why should Ray Charles be a psychologist?

Because he feels for everyone.

You might also enjoy:

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're not sure, they've yet to see the light.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Who came up with hugs?

The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing Why are you holding me " "Just trust me."

What do you call a terrorist holding an AK47 to your head?

Sir.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common?

They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud

How many Mexicans do you need to change a Lightbulb?

Juan.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What do jehovah's witnesses believe in?

That I will open the door

How do sceptics introduce themselves?

I don't believe we've met..."

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did Mace die?

Through the Windu.

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

What did one boat say to the other?

Are you up for a little row-mance

Rat Jokes More Rat Jokes

Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?

Because he's not a rat.

What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross.

P Jokes More P Jokes

What starts with "p," ends with "s," and is really long?

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car?

get in the car :P