What did the pessimist say to the psychologist?

Only the good die, Jung.

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What's the difference between a psychologist and a groundskeeper?

One you need for a rough patch, the other you need to patch your rough.

What does a psychologist wear to bed?

A Freudian slip.

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Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.

Why are Werewolves such pessimists?

They refuse to look at the silver lining.

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What did the humanistic psychologist say at Freud's funeral?

He died at such a Jung age.

What do John Belushi, Jim Morrison, John Candy, Jimi, Hendrix, and Janice Joplin have in common?

They all died Jung.