Why do pessimists always think it's the...

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? ..."POPCORN"!! What were you thinking?!?!?!

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

What do bees say to psych themselves up at the start of their day?

Leeeeeetttttssss get rrrrrrrrrready to Buuuuuuummmmmmmmmmbbbbbbllllllleeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

Where do Muslims go on a weekend?

To Mecca Bingo.

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Pessimist Jokes More Pessimist Jokes

What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes?

A: Deterrent.

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

Sad Day Jokes More Sad Day Jokes

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.