What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How does a woman know she's sleeping with a forklift driver?

He beeps twice before coming through the flaps.

How do you make a Snowman smile?

Tell him the snowblower is coming.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why are there no black cults?

Everyone drinks the kool-ade on the first day.

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What kind of dog can tell time?

A clockshund!

What is something that basically stops when you stare at it, but flys by when you dont?

There are two answere: Time and Boo (from Mario games). Just made this joke up what do you guys think

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher! Hahahahahahahahah you guys have no idea how alone I am.

How do you pick out the Christian Terrorist out of a crowd?

Find the guy wearing a rebel flag.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You pa- pa- poker face, pa- pa- poker face!

Jerk Jokes More Jerk Jokes

What do you call an Irish midget?

Whatever their name is, you insensitive jerk.

What's the fourth derivative called?

Inauguration. Why Change of jerk.

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

What do you call a screaming timepiece?

An alarmed clock.

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.