What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

How long does it take a necrophiliac to screw in a light bulb?

Not long... they like to do it while it's still warm.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What do a Boston Marathon runner and Jesus have in common?

Nails in their hands and feet

What does a French carpenter say when he runs out of nails?

I haven't a clous.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

Why would you take a hammer to bed?

A: So you could hit the sack.

Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?

Because it's a toad's tool.

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What did you do on the weekend?

ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake ME: Me

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.