What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What is Jesus's go-to pickup line?

Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?

Why don't oysters like to share?

Because they're shellfish.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why dosn't Jesus christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What's the difference between your finger and a hammer?

I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!

Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?

Because you said it was pound cake!

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

Where do Muslims go on a weekend?

To Mecca Bingo.

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.