What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson?

The position of the dirtbag

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What did the magician say when he a did a magic trick on the spaghetti?

Pesto chango

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

What do you call a group of rabbits walking backward?

A receding hareline.

Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head?

From a distance they look like hares!

Psychologist Jokes More Psychologist Jokes

How did the psychologist die?

He Freudian slipped.

Why did the cow go to the psychologist?

She had a fodder complex.

Hat Jokes More Hat Jokes

How did they name Canada?

They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.

How did Canada get its name?

They picked random letters out of a hat. C.... eh? N... eh? D....eh?

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Rat Jokes More Rat Jokes

Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?

Because he's not a rat.

How many rats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but you have to get them in the lightbulb first.

Habit Jokes More Habit Jokes

How many Catholics can you fit in a habit?

Nun

What do Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music and Keith Richards have in common?

They both made habits fashionable.