Kidnap Jokes

How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb?

The parents would love to know.

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What do you call a Santa Claus who kidnaps people?

Santa Clown

What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone?

Get in the trunk"

What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans?

Being rescued by the Americans

What did the Chili's waitress say about her kidnapped daughter?

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

What does the Pope Jean-Paul 2 and the little girl kidnapped by Boko Haram have in common?

The pope died a virgin

How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00?

His hands were tied.

What's it called when you kidnap a ghost?

A Polter-Heist

What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children?

A PDFile.

What do you call a duck being kidnapped?

An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.

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Why are Nordic women so beautiful?

Answer: Well, the Vikings didn't kidnap the ugly ones...

How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child?

A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

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Pope Jokes More Pope Jokes

Why has the pope never won a gold medal?

Because he always came in a little behind.

What did the Pope say to the hot atheist girl?

Shake that blasphemy

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other XD

Who is the easiest to get a high-five from in a war?

The French. They always have their hands up.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call someone who likes speed?

Racist.

What can you do if you don't like the Prelude in C Sharp Minor?

A: Turn Rachmanin off.

Pdfile Jokes More Pdfile Jokes

What do you call a guy who likes Adobe and little boys?

a PDFile

What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children?

A PDFile.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Whats the most unlikely line to read in the bible ?

The characters in this book are entirely fictional.

What is a hypocrite?

An atheist writer praying his book will sell.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand?

A community centre

How do you shut an Italian up?

Tie his hands behind his back

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries