Why did parking tickets increase after ...

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

Kidnap Jokes More Kidnap Jokes

What does the Pope Jean-Paul 2 and the little girl kidnapped by Boko Haram have in common?

The pope died a virgin

How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child?

A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.

Increase Jokes More Increase Jokes

Why do people shoot up schools?

Because it increases the average IQ of the world. It's a public service.

What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

Persephone Jokes More Persephone Jokes

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

Demeter Jokes More Demeter Jokes

What unit of measurement did the ancient greeks use to measure their crops?

Demeter.

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

Parking Ticket Jokes More Parking Ticket Jokes

What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket?

He got off on a technicality

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.