Increase Jokes

What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

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How do you increase a pirates morale?

mor ale

Why do people shoot up schools?

Because it increases the average IQ of the world. It's a public service.

What did the mayor of dinosaur town say when crime increased by 50%?

This calls for Jurastic changes

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

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School Jokes More School Jokes

What is the difference between a terrorist hideout and a school?

How should I know? I just fly the drones.

Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank?

A: Because she had an interest in the principal.

Parking Ticket Jokes More Parking Ticket Jokes

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

What is the similarity between women and square roots?

If they are under 16 you should just do them in your head.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How many Police Officers does it take to handcuff one man?

Nine, Eight to shoot him and one to say he was very dangerous

Why did Tigger shoot Pooh?

He had an itchy Tigger finger

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

Why do rappers always get arrested?

Because he who did the rhyme did the crime

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the difference between a man and a woman?

A woman wants a man who can satisfy all her needs. A man wants all women who can satisfy his needs.

What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes?

Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

Why shoudn't you take you Pokemon cards to the shower?

Cuz Pikachu might Pik a Chu

Why do Pokemon have eyes?

So they can pikachu

Kidnap Jokes More Kidnap Jokes

What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone?

Get in the trunk"

What's it called when you kidnap a ghost?

A Polter-Heist