What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

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What size box of condoms do you never want to buy?

The family size.

What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes?

Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.

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What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico?

Trotsky's Revenge

What's an emo's favorite game?

Russian roulette, except with a full chamber.

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Why did Eric Clapton make the switch from PC to Apple?

Well because he had a horrible experience with windows. (credit to Neil Hamburger for this amazing joke)

What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common?

They both have problems finding x.

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What did the mayor of dinosaur town say when crime increased by 50%?

This calls for Jurastic changes

How do you increase a pirates morale?

mor ale