Why does everybody else get the brunt of the jokes?

Let me hear something different.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost at the Halloween party?

Let's get sheet-faced!

How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

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What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

What's the best language for jokes?

Punjabi.

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Why would I want to talk to your baby?

On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.

Why isn't anyone afraid of China?

Because everyone knows General Tsao's chicken. Heard from a friend today. :)

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What is Lil' John's favorite exercise?

Squats, squats, squats squats, squats squats, squats, squats, squats squats. Everybody!

Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.