Lamb Jokes

What do you call sheep in the Middle East?

Arak of lamb

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Why does ISIS like sheep?

Is-Lamb!

What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear?

The silence of the lambs

What's a wavelength's favorite animal?

A lamb, duh!

What's a Muslims favourite animal?

Its Lamb

What does a Lamb say after the Chinese New Year celebration?

Baaaah bye!

Why do lambs go to casinos?

They love to gambol.

What kind of car does a rich shepherd drive?

A Lamb-orghini!

What is it called when a dyslexic has a slow computer?

A rack of lamb

When the crooked hamburger took it on the 'lamb' where did it go?

Oh 'ewe' know!

What do you call a rebellious teenager whose parents are a lamb and a moose?

A radical mooselamb

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What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat?

Look mom, an angel!

Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

He kisses his mother with that mouth.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium molecules?

2 na

Baker Jokes More Baker Jokes

What do you call a baker with red hair?

A ginger bread man

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float ?

That's my buoy !

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What's the difference between a Southern wedding and a Southern tornado?

Nothing - either way someone's gonna lose a trailer *shamelessly stolen from Robin Williams

Why did you steal that bird?

Prisoner: For a lark sir.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "

What's Cain's favorite genre of music?

Rock, I hear his brother hates it though.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

What do alcoholics and necropheliacs have in common?

They both love to crack open a cold one.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)