Pimp Jokes

What does a pimp and a redneck have on common?

They both like to throw a ho-down.

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What do Welshmen call a sheep dog in Wales?

Their Pimp

What is a goat herder known as in the Middle East?

A Pimp

Which nut could pimp the Prince of Darkness?

Mack-a-Dameon.

What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What do you call a pimp with his whores?

A guard and hoes.

Why did the pimp cross the lawn?

To get to the hoes.

What do you call a redneck with two sheep?

A Pimp

What do you call a pimp without a cane?

A caneless pimp.

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

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How is being a pimp like being a farmer?

You get some hoes and they get dough for you.

What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp?

A: A back-handed compliment.

How are pirates like pimps?

They both have gold teeth and say "yo ho!"

How could the pimp always easily locate his ho?

Because, she really stands out on the street.

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

Why'd they call the egg a pimp?

Because he got ova easy.

What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?

A pimp

What do Pimps and Santa have in common?

They stay with 3 ho's

What does a pimp do when his garden needs tending?

He grabs a hoe.

What goes HO HO HO thud?

Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO A Pimp taking inventory.

What's the difference between Santa and a pimp ?

Santa has just 3 Ho's...

What happened to the pimp who ate too much Italian food?

He got Pasta-toots.

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

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Me: 1) You-- 10YO: Seriously Why would you drag me into that

What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

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How do you get the political science grad off your lawn?

Pay for the pizza

What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What does "Maginot Line" get translated to in English?

Speed bump ahead

What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language?

Anticlimactic

New Zealander Jokes More New Zealander Jokes

What do you call a smart Australian?

A New Zealander

What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

Darkness Jokes More Darkness Jokes

What is the Speed of Darkness?

Batman!

What kind of subreddit dedicates itself to darkness and shadows?

No it is not r/shadow removed

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What is a Mexican's favorite bookstore?

Borders

What game do they play at Mexican carnivals?

Guaca-mole!

Redneck Jokes More Redneck Jokes

Why were all the rednecks sitting around an ordinary potato waiting for it to talk?

It was a CommonTater I just made this up I swear

What's the worst part about being a redneck?

Having to see your ex at family gatherings.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a pitbull and a social worker?

You might get your baby back off a pitbull.

What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ?

You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !