Mate Jokes

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

relationshipgulls

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why was the chess player pregnant?

Because they were mated.

What's the mating call of a sorority girl?

O My GOd! I am so drunk.

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

How the hell did you get a body like that?

he asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Who did the pirate lose his virginity to?

His first mate.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to?

His first mate

Why didn't the rabbit want to mate outside?

Because it was Frigid

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

What's the mating call for a University of Alabama student?

I'm soo ddrrrruunnkk!"

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

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Flat Mate Jokes More Flat Mate Jokes

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Why Did The Hedgehog Cross The Road?

Because he wanted to see his flat mate.

Room Mate Jokes More Room Mate Jokes

What do Hillary supporters call their room mate?

Nurse.

What did the suicidal college student say to his room mate?

Dont leave me hangin' bro

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What are the symptoms of amnesia?

I can't remember

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

What did the nurse say to John Cena?

A: ICU.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick?

The brick will eventually get laid.

What's the difference between the foundation of a building and the average Redittor?

The foundation's been laid.

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

Why don't some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don't work out.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

What's the difference between the English rugby team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer! (im so sorry -)