Mate Jokes

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

relationshipgulls

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was the chess player pregnant?

Because they were mated.

What's the mating call of a sorority girl?

O My GOd! I am so drunk.

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

How the hell did you get a body like that?

he asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Who did the pirate lose his virginity to?

His first mate.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to?

His first mate

Why didn't the rabbit want to mate outside?

Because it was Frigid

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

What's the mating call for a University of Alabama student?

I'm soo ddrrrruunnkk!"

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

You might also enjoy:

Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

What gets you a downvote?

Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being

Hillary Supporter Jokes More Hillary Supporter Jokes

What do Hillary supporters call their room mate?

Nurse.

How can you tell a bernie sanders supporter from a hillary supporter?

There age

Room Mate Jokes More Room Mate Jokes

What do Hillary supporters call their room mate?

Nurse.

What did the suicidal college student say to his room mate?

Dont leave me hangin' bro

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get to the dark side...

What side of the road do they drive on in ireland?

None. They're so drunk and violent no one is allowed to drive.

South Korean Jokes More South Korean Jokes

What's the difference between South Korean BBQ and American BBQ?

South Korean BBQ has more Seoul

What does a South Korean call their lover?

Their Seoul Mate.

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

How can a room full of couples be empty?

There isn't a single person left! Bwahahahahaha

What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish?

A couple of weeks

Flat Mate Jokes More Flat Mate Jokes

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Why Did The Hedgehog Cross The Road?

Because he wanted to see his flat mate.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's the opposite of Adele?

Amac or BB-Mac (you pick which one's funnier)

Why was the paleontologist angry?

Because he had a bone to pick.