How the hell did you get a body like that?

he asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks )

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the llama say when asked to a picnic?

Alpaca lunch!

What did the mexican student say when he was asked to turn in his essay?

I ain't no snitch.

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity?

Because all of their broads are in Atlanta

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why did the Face of Bo go to the party by himself?

Because he had no body to go with.

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!