How did the Romans split up their empire?

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why were the suspenders arrested?

A: For holding up a pair of pants.

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears?

I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!

Split Jokes More Split Jokes

Why don't you go down on a girl in the morning?

Have you ever tried to split a grilled cheese

Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls?

He split a seam in his blue ones.

Roman Jokes More Roman Jokes

How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

V.

Why should you never high-five a Roman?

They might give you Hi-V back!

Empire Jokes More Empire Jokes

How do you destroy an empire?

Brexit.

Why does the Empire use Apple?

Because they couldn't find the droid they were looking for