Empire Jokes

How do you destroy an empire?

Brexit.

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Where does the Empire buy their robes?

The Darth Mall!

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks )

Why does the Empire use Apple?

Because they couldn't find the droid they were looking for

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Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

How many programmers do you need to fix a light bulb?

None, it is a hardware issue!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What's it like being a grown up?

Me hands her money: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly

Why couldn't the woman buy a bakery shop?

A: She couldn't raise enough dough.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What does your mom and your driveway have in common?

They both have a GARBAGE box.

Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?

His answer: "My mom."

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

What do you call tossing a Hawaiian's salad?

Pacific rim

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games?

Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10.

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?

An erection.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Whats camp for kids with ADD called?

Concentration camp.

What did some kids call him?

A "Chigga" (i'm not a racist, but this made me laugh for long enough to post it here. Please don't get triggered)

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

Why the long pause?

asks the bartender. The bear replies "Well, I am a bear"

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."