Fan Jokes

I've always been a fan or dark humor, so, what's the darkest joke you know. no boundaries, no getting offended. please don't downvote anyone because you find it offensive, that's life, get over it.

Why was the baseball team hot?

It didn't have any fans!

Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer?

He's not a fan of the shingle life.

What did Justin Bieber's biggest fan say to him when they met?

nothing, hes a fan.

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

Why did the fan blow itself?

Because it was turned on!

Why are baseball players so cool?

They always have their fans around.

Why don't soccer players get hot while running?

Because they hve so many fans

Who fans?

Tardis..... I will see myself out..

What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his head in the fan?

It took ears off his life!

Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?

Because you're breaking wind.

What song do you sing if you're not a fan of Christmas?

Sigh-lent night

How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan?

He was de-lighted

How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA?

He was all over his wife at the parade

Why is the Ferguson Police Department a fan of Pokemon?

Because you gotta catch Jamal

Why did the tree have lots of fans?

Because he was Poplar!

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Why was the football stadium so cold?

Because of all the fans.

What do you call a black guy with a fan?

Antique air conditioner.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?

Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.

Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game?

He had tripped a fan.

Why did the kid steal the fan?

He wanted to be cool.

Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery?

He's not a fan of juvenile plots.

How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did the pirate say after his successful pillage?

Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?

Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.

Macbook Jokes More Macbook Jokes

Why did the pirate update his Macbook?

His matey told him he needed an iPatch

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

What do you do when Ronda says "Not Tonight"?

Kick her out of bed

Server Jokes More Server Jokes

Why does the food take so long at an Internet cafe?

Because the servers cannot be found

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Trick Question Jokes More Trick Question Jokes

What do you call 50 feminists on a bus?

Trick Question. You can't fit 50 feminists on a bus.

How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.

Bodybuilder Jokes More Bodybuilder Jokes

What did one bodybuilder ask the other?

How much do you whey bro

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What did the lawyer say to the sovereign citizen when asked for legal counsel?

Am I being retained ** **Am I being retained **

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit