How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the alien version of Facebook?

Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know).

How do we know that slaves went to college?

They all had masters

Fan Jokes More Fan Jokes

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

What do you call a black guy with a fan?

Antique air conditioner.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if an American has a conceal carry permit?

They'll tell you.

What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?

a hobbyte Cortana told me that joke

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her mom rearranged the living room

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much?

Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why does snoop dog need an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle....

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Thought Jokes More Thought Jokes

What is mitosis?

Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.

What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air?

Collecting his thoughts.

Garbage Jokes More Garbage Jokes

What's worse than finding a dead baby in the garbage can?

Finding a dead baby in the recycle bin.

Where did William Tell take his garbage?

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Thousands because Confucious say many hands make light work.

Why didn't the sun have to attend university?

It's already got thousands of degrees.