How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?

A: They don't know the route.

How do you know a redneck invented the tooth brush?

We would have called it a teeth brush

Fan Jokes More Fan Jokes

Whats the name of a bodybuilder whose a fan of the X-Men?

Huge Jackman

What did Elsa say to her fans on Reddit?

Leddit go

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you get out of Sunday school?

You tell your mom you're Sikh.

What does the ISIS member say about telling good jokes?

It's all in the execution."

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did you get your mom for Mother's Day tomorrow?

Besides a tiny, brief panic attack

What did justin beiber say to his mom?

I FOUND MY MICROSCOPE, now all I need is my lotion and tweezers

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a droid who's never on time?

BB-L8

What do you call a guy who screams, "I love you, mom!" every time he climaxes?

Me.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Hell you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

Thought Jokes More Thought Jokes

Where do we keep our thoughts detained?

In brain cells!

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

Garbage Jokes More Garbage Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

When is a pig an ecologist?

When he recycles garbage into ham.

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

What kind of laptop calls you a thousand times?

A dell

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.